Something to think about

I just completed an assignment for my ethics class, and thought I'd share with you something I read. There is an essay from some philosopher that is all about men and women and how they feel about love and marriage. She is basically saying that all women want in life is the "happily ever after", a.k.a.: Marriage.

She then lists these "promises" that come along with it:

You will have someone to make you happy.
You will be loved and cherished.
You will be cared for and protected from all the dangers of the
world.
You will have sexual intimacy and satisfaction.
You will have someone to understand and support you.
You will have companionship and safety from loneliness.
You will have a father for your children.
You will be socially secure as a part of a couple.
You will have a place in this world, a meaning, and you will love it.
You will gain status and prestige as someones chosen wife.
You will not be an old maid.
You will be financially secure.

You will be happy.

Um, okay...

Marriage does not guarantee happiness.

There. I said it.

And why can't you have those things if you aren't married? Here goes my response...

I don't need anyone to make me happy. That is my job. If I make others happy along the way... BONUS! but that isn't any ones job but my own.

I am loved and cherished. My family loves me. My daughter thinks that the Sun sets and rises because of me. She also thinks that I can make coins disappear, then magically reappear in her ear! She also thinks that I am the best artist, a world class chef, and my kisses can heal the biggest hurts. She can't sleep at night until she has had a hug and a kiss or told me that she loves me.

I am loved.

I will be protected from the world... man, that is a good one. Doesn't she realize that we can't be protected from everything? Crap is gonna happen. No man or husband will keep me from getting hurt. What I can do is make good choices and try to live in a way to avoid things that I know are going to cause me heartache. And what if I do get hurt? Well, I will do as I have always done, and I will try to learn from my mistakes and make myself better for what I have learned.

Sexual intimacy? Satisfaction? Seriously? I know a lot of married people who can't say that they have that... And for the record...you can live without it, trust me.

I have people who support me. Understand me... well, that is another topic! My friends and family are amazing and would do anything for me. There are members of my ward who have shown me great acts of service and love. Just this past year a large amount of money appeared on my doorstep just in time for Christmas...then shortly after that, an anonymous gift was also left on the door. People are so thoughtful. I also have one good friend who calls me just to tell me she is thinking of me.

No one can be safe from being lonely. It can happen when you are in a room surrounded by a hundred people. I will admit, sometimes the loneliness creeps up on me and takes me by surprise. That is when I surround myself with good things and amazing people and I chase all the bad away. Sometimes it is harder than others, but I know I can deal with it.

I have a father for my daughter. He doesn't live with us, but he is still her father and loves her. I always wondered how it would work out, but he and his wife have stepped up to the plate and are wonderful. I just don't tell them enough. Hannah also has the most amazing Grandpa in the world. He stands in place for her dad because he isn't here everyday. He is an amazing example to her and it has been wonderful to have that male influence in our lives.

Someone has to kill the spiders, right?

Being socially secure as part of a couple...ok...I have never felt socially secure as part of a couple... I could go deep into this one, but I'll leave it alone.

My life DOES have meaning. I have a place in this world... I may not love all of the details right now, but one day I will have fine tuned this life of mine to be what it was meant to be.

I AM an old maid. Deal with it. Does that make me a bad person? Just because I am attracted to losers? OK, had to throw that one in... But really, am I less of a person because I don't have a husband?

An old friend of mine doesn't have any children, so is she less of a person because of that? I don't think so. I love her anyway.

I admit, I am not financially secure, but is anyone right now? I know some people have saved and planned and have nice incomes, I am happy for you, I really am. That is something I am working on, and hopefully before I am done with my degree I will have it mastered.

"You will be happy"

Who ever said that I wasn't?

OK, so I know that was a long, drawn out post, and I am sure my brother is rolling his eyes at me, thinking that I am bitter and jaded. But I just had to throw that out there... I want you to not feel sorry for me for "being alone" if that is how you want to refer to it... Hey, World, this is me, and I fully intend on being happy no matter what you throw at me.

Bring it on.