Is it Friday yet?

I have a terrible case of the blahs. I hate to sound like a baby, but it's been bugging me a bit and maybe, just maybe, if I blog about it I will feel better! Right?

Life is crazy. I learned that a long time ago, but I forget sometimes (forgetting is one thing I am good at) that when things start to feel really good that is usually when the walls come crumbling down. Nothing big has happened, so don't worry about that, but I FEEL like something is happening. 

I don't really know what you call it, that pit-of-the-gut-oh-no-something-bad-is-happening feeling. When I was in grade school I felt this way before a test and especially before report cards came out! I was always a little freaked out about the future, ya know? Well, that feeling has seemed to encompass me over the past several days. I get home from work and I am just physically and mentally exhausted. I go home and go straight to the couch (I'd go straight to bed but this way I don't feel like a complete failure when it comes to mothering my child) and end up in bed at an unreasonably early hour. I wake up feeling like I've been hit by a bus and wonder how I'll survive another day. 

Last night Hannah pointed something out to me that got me thinking: She and I have been playing Words with Friends and she said "Mom, what's up?" and I was like... "What do you mean what's up?" 

Then she said something about my choice of words I'd been using. I mentioned my letters hadn't been great (and mind you, I usually use the "cheat sites" when I play with the big boys, but not with Hannah). She then pointed out her list of words "Tee, go, dots, kites, reads."

Mine are "knots, roar, quit, help, and deal."

Yeah, I see her point. 

So this is the plan:

Tomorrow I will finish up an unfinished project. I won't stay in bed all day and feel sorry for myself for not knowing why I am feeling sorry for myself. I will smile and laugh and instead of hiding away I will make purposeful decisions to not only get out, but to get out and make someone happy. Anyway, thanks for the vent, say a prayer for this gal. Please.

Love you all,

Sarah

It's time to come clean...

This year has started off with a bang! I can't believe how fast this last week has gone, and I really can't believe how incredible my life is!

First off, the de-clutter project update: So I added to my junk box these items: a pair of scrubs that don't fit, a whole stack of Hannah's clothes that are too small, and a couple of other things from my closet. Even better? I drove it down to the DI on Saturday so I won't get tempted to open it up and try to save anything :)

Now the biggie: The other day I went on a super amazing date with my super amazing boyfriend... I normally don't talk much about my "personal" life, and I did the other day and kind-of regret it! I posted a simple status update on Facebook about my little date and I can't believe the comments (some I deleted!). It got me thinking... there is a reason I don't do personal stuff on Facebook. Too many people want to know your business, but not one of them have taken the time to call or sit down with me and have a real conversation. I really wanted to get snarky and say something to the effect of  "if you are important to me, you know the details" but that's just mean. So, to make a long story short... let me introduce to the two of you who read my blog the special man in my life:

This is him! I know, the fish picture is a little strange, but this is him doing something he loves. It is kind-of weird talking about him! I have so much I'd like to say, but at the same time, much of it is quite personal and I should probably keep it that way :)

We have been together for a while now, celebrated our first Christmas and New Years together, and all I can say is that it has been amazing! He is the father to 3 amazing boys, 11, 14, and 16 and Hannah absolutely adores them. His youngest and her have been plotting via text message and I get quite a kick out of it!

I can honestly say that he is the most amazing man I have ever had in my life. Every single day he makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world... he makes me smile, laugh, and love more than I ever thought was possible. He is kind, thoughtful, generous... but the best part about him is that he balances out my craziness! Tomorrow we celebrate his birthday, and I will make it a point to count my blessings and express my thanks to my Heavenly Father who loved me enough to bless me with such an amazing man.

Happy 2014!!!

I suck at keeping resolutions. Apparently, I am not alone. I've heard that in order to stick to your goals you need to make them public and that way you are held accountable when you don't follow through. I don't really expect anyone to read this or to beat me down when I mess up, but I am going to use this blog as my tool to remind me of what I do accomplish. So here it is... the things I am going to work on this year.

1. A friend of mine has a challenge: The 365 days of uncluttering your life. Every day get rid of something that doesn't make you happy. Yesterday, I deleted numbers from my phone. Today, I get rid of a monster TV that is taking up space. This one should be an easy one for me. Not only will it help me focus on and make more room for the things that really are important, but will make moving again that much easier.

2. Weekly "Hannah time"'. The last two years of nursing school taught me a few things, I won't go into detail, but the one thing I will do better this year is to have more time with my daughter. Once a week we will spend quality time together. I will let her pick the activity, whether it's playing a game at home, watching a movie, painting our nails together, or even a dinner for two on the town. For Christmas this year we were lucky enough to receive both Lagoon season passes and the Pass of all Passes. At least some of our activities have been prepaid, right? I have realized that as she grows into a young woman she needs to know I am here and available, and honestly, I don't think once a week is enough, but it's a place to start. I think this one will be the most fun!

3. Increase my spirituality. Due to my work schedule I don't make it to church every week. Sometimes it's weeks at a time. I admit that I suck at the other stuff too... I won't get into details. :) All I can say is that I will work on this, too.

Anyway, there are about a million things I need to work on, but I am going to let those things just sort themselves out as I get better at sticking to things :) Oh yeah, and the blogging thing! Haha!