I wish I were the kind of person who could put my feelings into words! Don't get me wrong, I can talk. Boy, can I talk! But I really want to be able to say what is on my mind right now... the things in my heart, and I want you to understand and get even just a slight glimpse into the tremendous amount of, well, feelings that I am feeling right now.
First off, I have to say that life has taken another amazing, crazy turn. I should post more often and then maybe these things wouldn't seem so shocking! After a life changing decision to never date again, guess what I did? Yep. Said yes to a date. Best decision. Ever. It's only been a month and, heck, you never know, but I can tell you that it is good. So good that he introduced Hannah and I to his family yesterday. It was a good day. Therefore, I'm feeling HAPPY!
With the new job I've had to work a few Sundays, and I will say it again... You don't miss church until you can't go. It's not so bad when you wake up and say, "hey, I don't feel like it today, I think I'll stay home." No biggie. I've done it before. Not proud of it, but come on, let's be honest, it happens. But when I can't go, I miss it. Well, this has left me feeling a bit empty spiritually. I try to do my best. I try to do what I can to make the Sabbath special when I am working with reading and music and such.Well, a few weeks ago I was able to get to church. Honestly, I didn't want to stay. The though to bail out was quite overwhelming. But I stayed. The best part? Something that I had on my mind for the past few weeks...something that I felt was potential life-altering...a burning question that I hadn't had answered for me was finally answered. I am sure that everyone else in that meeting have no idea what happened in my heart that day, but I do. That leaves me feeling BLESSED. My Father in Heaven has heard my prayers and is aware of my struggles and is still answering if I will take the time to humble myself and ask.
Back to the cute boy in my life... I can honestly say that I have never in my whole life been as happy as I am right now. Last week I was taken to a really nice dinner (one I would never have taken myself to), given chocolates, a sweet little gift, and the best gift of all: 3 words. No, not those! We were getting ready to leave the restaurant, the bill had arrived and I glanced. It was HUGE! Holy crap! Anyway, I think he saw the shock in my eyes! I don't have much of a poker face. Anyway, he looked me in the eyes and said "You're worth it." That makes me feel LOVED.
Well, I better wrap this up for now... I'll be back eventually. I am sure it will take some crazy life event to bring me back to writing, but oh well, it makes for good conversation.
