Wow. It has been forever since I have posted. Life gets a little crazy and I don't get a chance to post much, but here I am doing some catch up.
(I really should be studying for a test and trying to get to the bottom of a pile of homework, but I need a little escape. )
The last month has been insane. Here is the breakdown.
On the day after Christmas I totaled my moms car. Long story, but lets just say that black ice isn't my friend. On the 6th of January, Grandma fell and broke her hip. Another long story. The next day, I was on my way to school and was t-boned in an intersection. Total to car #2. In the meantime, my boss chose to leave for another job, leaving me to pick up extra classes. I am in my second to last semester of school, so the workload has been a little insane. If I am not at school I am at work or in the corner at my desk doing homework or trying to help out with Grandma. I think Hannah thinks I have abandoned her. Yeah, so that's it. I am feeling sorry for myself again and about ready to run away.
Part of me wants to fast forward to June when I can escape the craziness of nursing school, but a part of me knows that I need to slow down and breathe for a bit. I have learned how precious life is, and I don't want it passing me by. Watching Grandma go through what she has is a real eye opener to me. It breaks my heart to see her in pain and so confused, and even harder to keep Hannah aware but protected from what may come. Hannah crawled in my bed the other night and cuddled with me and cried because she was afraid Grandma Boren was going to die. We cried together and I promised her that no matter what we would take care of her and make sure she wasn't in pain. Then that sweet girl of mine said that maybe Grandma just wants to be with Grandpa again. The sad part is that I know she is right.
I am sitting in the care center with Grandma right now. She is sleeping and I am just going to stay here so if she needs me. I feel so helpless when I am off doing school and such, so for tonight I am going to feel useful. Multi-tasking while blogging, studying for a test, and just being here with her.
